Day 14 & 15

It's finally Friday! I cannot tell you how happy I really about this...I get to have a 3 day weekend! I so need it too! I chose these two pictures because I've been missin' New York and my family there lately and it's "throw back" week on Facebook and I posted this one. I was two years old.  I think I was a pretty cute 2 year old. Rosey cheeks and all. :) So something funny happened to me today. And by funny I don't mean funny haha...I mean funny as in "wow God really was listening" funny. When I first started my new job I had to take a personality test (which I should post some of the stuff it talked about, because it's pretty dead on). Well the guy who does the tests and what not came in to go over it with me. Super nice guy. His name is Erin (yes that's how he spells it). He loves God a lot and isn't in your face about it. I've never met Erin before today and as we were going through my test, we didn't get past the first page. He had asked me a question that led to a huge conversation about what I'm struggling with in life right now. I totally broke down in front of a man I have never seen or heard of before. And the cool thing is that he just let me cry. He didn't judge me or try to give me the "religious" answers to my problems (I've heard a lot of that lately). He did exactly what I think God would do...does...He spoke to me where I was at. Didn't except me to be anything more than what I was showing him and loved me despite the tears and struggles. I kinda laughed and told him, "I have no idea why I'm telling you all this...I don't do this with anyone". The really cool thing is that I know God had me there today just for me to speak out my heart to a man with an outside perspective getting advise from One who sees it all. He said things that I had thought in my head and never said out loud. Things I only said to God. He said something that really made an impact on me. He and I are the same personality type. And he has dealt with anger. He said that it really just comes down to our anger being fear. At that point I had stopped crying and then when I heard that...the dam opened again. For the longest time I have not been able to figure out why I have struggled with anger. I mean I dont' have a bad life at all. God has truly blessed me and I don't have a reason to be this angry all the time. However...fear...that I have a lot of. I fight that a lot...but not hard enough obviously. It's over rather stupid stuff too, but it's there. But because God used this man today, I now know what I'm dealing with and now I feel like I can take the steps to get over it. Wow...there was so much in that meeting that spoke to my heart and by the end of it I was tired, but left with some hope and little bit of relief. I believe that God is pulling me through this darkness and into the light and at the end of it I'll be more of who I'm supposed to be and trust Him completely. I have to stop being afraid of the unknown and just let Him carry me because only He can see.