Day 8 & 9

I know, I know...totally didn't post yesterday. This past week has been very long and part of that is because I was waiting for something that I had to do yesterday. I was excited and nervous for it and now I'm just waiting to hear the result, which is making me impatient. Today I got to help a friend of mine paint his new office. He's in a new chapter in life and I'm very excited to see what God is going to do through him and this new ministry opportunity. But standing there, paint roller in hand, I had an overwhelming...oh what's the word...overwhelming feeling of loss I guess is what it was...is. I truly do miss being in ministry. The reason I know this for a fact is because now that I'm not in it, I feel a void that wasn't there before. I think a lot of this is contributing to my restlessness that I've been feeling. What's killin' me too about this, is that there's nothing I can do at the moment...I can't put the time into it that I want too because I work a full time job...it's frustrating. The good thing though is that I am very excited to help with what I can and this whole job thing is making me appreciate working in the ministry so much more. I went from literally 7 days a week to nuttin'! Talk about cold turkey! I was talking with one of my friends the other day and telling her how that everything I've known for the past 7 years is gone...except for the foundation. And my foundation is God. There are a few pieces of my former life/chapter...whatever you want to call it...left. But other than those very important people...everything is starting out new and fresh. That's a good thing too. I believe that I had hit my peak where I was, now that I look back at it. I've been trying to come up with a plan on how I could help out...quit my current job...work part time...volunteer the other time. Yeah...not so much. THAT would be moving before God said too...and just stupid because I have a mortagage to pay. I feel like the annoying excited puppy that wants to play...jumping up and down beside God bringing all my toys and tuggin' on His pant leg, trying to get His attention. And in the meantime, He's saying "not yet little one..." I can't honestly say I know or understand why God has me at this job that drives me up a wall right now...sigh....this is just making me more frustrated! I need direction.....